


Health and Happiness

by wth_am_i_writing



Category: VIXX
Genre: Angst, Car Accidents, Deal with a Devil, Unrequited Love, ambulance ride, mentions of one sided hakyeon/wonshik
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-30
Updated: 2018-12-30
Packaged: 2019-09-27 16:32:27
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,227
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17165399
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/wth_am_i_writing/pseuds/wth_am_i_writing
Summary: N had one wish, but fulfilling it came with a price.





	Health and Happiness

**Author's Note:**

> Originally posted on Tumblr on November 4, 2014.
> 
> Original Author’s Note: I got hit by inspiration and decided to procrastinate a bit tonight… this was the result. I’ve not been in the best mood lately because of stress and lack of sleep, which honestly explains the influx of angst fic after angst fic and little to no smut. >.< Anyway, hope you guys enjoy!

_Just whose benefit is it for this time?_ N wondered, taking a wheezing breath, pain shooting through his chest and stomach, pain pulsing in his head. He couldn’t move, could barely breath, couldn’t open his eyes, could just make out screaming and yelling, couldn’t feel his legs. There was an awful screeching of bending metal and then someone was at his side for the first time in what felt like hours. His manager had already been pulled out but he didn’t know how long ago. Thankfully, none of the other members were with him since hewas coming back from a solo schedule. The person was calling his name and telling him what they were doing but it was all fuzzy in his head, didn’t make sense. He tried his best to open his eyes to let the person know he was ok, only to squeeze them shut again when the world looked like blurry gray and red.

The person took great care to put something around N’s neck–a neckbrace, N guessed, and that meant the person was a rescue responder. The responder pulled away and there was more nasty screeching from bending metal followed by a new wave of pain that caused tears to prick N’s eyes. Suddenly more hands were on N than he could count and the responder from earlier was talking to him again as he was lowered onto a board, but everything was still too fuzzy to make out. He barely registered them strapping him to the board, and then they were moving.

He came to a rest and doors slammed shut somewhere towards his feet and there was a lurch as the ambulance started moving, sirens blaring. The responders started talking to him again, doing god knew what. N forced his eyes open again, everything coming a little more into focus than before, but he didn’t like what he saw any better than he’d liked the blurry red on gray he’d seen in the car.

Next to the responder on his left sat the devil. It had taken N’s form, had been using his image since N first encountered it three years ago. A mirthful smile was spread across its lips, eyes crinkled into crescents that looked satisfied–almost proud at N’s state. He wondered if this was finally the accident that would take his life, if the devil was here to collect his soul and escort him to hell. The devil’s grin grew wider and it leaned forward.

 _“Don’t worry, you still have a long life ahead of you. If you died, it would make everyone sad, and that would violate our agreement. You have to outlive every single one of them,”_ the devil cooed. It reached out and stroked his leg, drawing N’s attentions to his blood stained clothes and the responders working to stabilize the wounds on his stomach and legs. _“Of course, you’ll never walk again, which will make them sad for a little while, but it’s all for the better good.”_ Not his legs, _anything_ but his legs.N felt tears well up again and the beeping of the heart monitor the responders had hooked him up to sped up. His career–the other members–he was their leader–his upcoming drama role–his singing–his dancing–Ravi– The devil met N’s gaze, smile turning sickly sweet.

 _“VIXX as five members… You’ve been deteriorating so much lately that it’ll probably be a relief on them when you’re out of the picture.”_ They didn’t need him, it was becoming clear from how much they were forced to get on without him between his frequent colds and injuries–enough illness and injury for six people. N always wanted to deny it, wanted to believe that the burden he was taking on for the others wasn’t affecting VIXX, but it was becoming more and more obvious that he was becoming a burden on the team. _“Don’t worry, though. Ravi will make a good leader, and Hongbin and Hyuk will do just fine taking over all of your parts. They’ll finally get the recognition all their hard work deserved,”_ the devil continued.

 _“Of course, this will also insure they won’t meet with any accidents or illness for a while as well. The car everyone was in last night was supposed to crash, and everyone should have received light injuries. I stopped it but, well, you know how these things work by now.”_ Its grin turned shark toothed as the ambulance lurched and started to slow. _“Seems you’ve almost reached the hospital. Until next time, dearest Cha Hakyeon.”_ The devil was gone in a blink, but it did nothing to sooth N.

The ambulance came to a stop and the doors opened. N was lifted out of the ambulance and transferred to a gurney, the ER nurses taking him from the responders and running him into the hospital. The stream of questions from earlier repeated, this time asked by a nurse, and he forced out breathed responses that he was sure were lost under the oxygen mask that had been put on him sometime during transport. They rolled him to a room and started to cut his clothes off, rushing to get him as stable as possible.

N fell back into his thoughts, ignoring the nurses that kept asking him questions. His legs were the price to pay. No matter how hard they tried, the nurses and doctors wouldn’t be able to save them. It seemed like he never stopped paying the price for his wish, for his deal with the devil. Happiness and health for his members in return for his own happiness and health. Until now, it hadn’t been too bad. He was miserable, but he’d kept telling himself he could be content–could be happy–if the members were well and happy.

When Ravi started seriously dating, N had slowly picked up the pieces of his heart because the man he’d fallen in love with had found someone that was undeniably perfect for him. As long as he could remain by Ravi’s side, it’d be enough. When the strength of his voice started wavering and deteriorating, when his throat started getting sensitive and easily strained, he’d cut back on talking and his lines in songs were reduced. The general disposition of the members had improved at his new found quietness. Hongbin and Hyuk both saw sudden strengthening in the tone and strength of their voices and took over the extra lines N normally would have taken.

Those things he could live with. Those things he could watch from the side and be happy _for_ them even if it meant his situation was worse. He could live through the colds and the pulled muscles and the sprained ankles and slipped discs if it meant the rest of the team could always operate at optimal efficiency. But his legs–his legs were everything. Without his legs he was nothing to VIXX or his company.

His members were safe; only he was hurt, only he was involved in an accident. His members would be happy; they’d move forward without him. But this–this injury, this situation– _this_ felt like he was sentenced to living hell. Maybe that was the devil’s intent. Maybe the happiness they’d receive in turn would be well worth the trade off. He could only hope it was.


End file.
